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April 6, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

April 06, 2014 at 12:24AM EDT

Heather Chandler (to Veronica): For a lumpy pile of skank, you do have good bone structure.
Heather McNamara: And a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I’d have matching halves. That’s very important.
Heather Duke: Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds.
-Heathers: The Musical

March 30, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

March 30, 2014 at 12:13AM EDT

Dominic Badguy: The show must…
Constantine: Continue in a timely fashion.
-Muppets Most Wanted

March 23, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

March 23, 2014 at 12:12AM EDT

“I’m sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. (I’m sorry you’re so stupid.)”
-Lumpy Space Princess, “Bad Timing,” Adventure Time

March 16, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

March 16, 2014 at 12:11AM EDT

“Today’s decision…affirms the enduring principle that regardless of whoever finds favor in the eyes of the most recent majority, the guarantee of equal protection must prevail.”
-U.S. District Judge Bernard Friedman

March 9, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

March 09, 2014 at 12:08AM EDT

“She’s innocent. Mostly. She killed the neighbor, but the bitch had it coming.”
-Fiona Goode, “The Magical Delights of Stevie Nicks,” American Horror Story: Coven

March 2, 2104

By FBOTU | Comment

March 02, 2014 at 12:07AM EDT

“It’s the most narcissistic thing in the world. Hating yourself and worshiping yourself are the exact same thing.”
-Dan Harmon, creator of Community

February 23, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

February 23, 2014 at 12:06AM EDT

“A boy who has a unicorn ranch in his bedroom shouldn’t call other people weird. That’s right. We know about Rancho Unicorno.”
-Hank Hill, “To Sirloin with Love”

February 16, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

February 16, 2014 at 12:05AM EDT

“Look, it’s terrible, I know, but weakness really, really bugs me—to the point that if there is a wounded bird on the sidewalk, I look at it and I go: I think I’ll just kick it.”
-Jodie Foster

February 9, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

February 09, 2014 at 12:04AM EDT

“Any time Jennifer Lawrence, Jeremy Renner and Orlando Bloom want to have an archery contest at Comic-Con, just let me know, and I’ll be there.”
-Stephen Amell, from Arrow

February 2, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

February 02, 2014 at 12:03AM EDT

“Life is about not knowing. Delicious ambiguity.”
-Gilda Radner

January 26, 2104

By FBOTU | Comment

January 26, 2014 at 12:00AM EDT

“This coven doesn’t need a new Supreme. It needs a new rug.”
-Fiona Goode, “The Replacements,” American Horror Story: Coven

January 19, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

January 19, 2014 at 11:59PM EDT

“If his original logic was, ‘I’m going to use this race which I probably won’t win just as a point of redemption to run again in the future,’ that logic still holds,” said one unaffiliated New York Democratic strategist. “But that means he does need to stop tweeting pictures of his penis. Forever. And so far, he hasn’t been able to do that.”
-Edward-Isaac Dovere reporting on Anthony Weiner’s campaign

January 12, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

January 12, 2014 at 11:58PM EDT

“My stance on piracy is that piracy is bad for bad entertainment. There’s a pretty strong correlation with things that suck not being greatly pirated.”
-Eric Stephenson, Image Comics Publisher

January 5, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

January 05, 2014 at 11:57PM EDT

“Anytime someone is in a position of privilege, and they have unearned benefits by virtue of that privilege, when you take those unearned benefits away, to them it feels like you’re taking something unfairly.”
-Dr. Lisa Wade, Occidental College, on privilege

December 29, 2013

By FBOTU | Comment

December 29, 2013 at 11:56PM EDT

Grandpa: We used to give each other “wet willies” and “funny arms.” We played “dandy balls” and “legs are spread” and “penis butt.”
Sonny: Sounds kind of gay, grandpa.
Grandpa: It was gay! Everyone was. But back then we were called “pole fanciers.” It was real, good, old-fashioned “grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life” gay. Not today’s fancy “featherbed thread count” gay. People got hurt back then!
-“April in Quahog,” Family Guy

December 22, 2013

By FBOTU | Comment

December 22, 2013 at 11:55PM EDT

“With love, hope and faith, we can overcome anything. Who among you will join me? Let ‘V’ no longer stand for ‘Visitor.’ Let ‘V’ stand for ‘victory.’”
-Father Jack Landry, V

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