April 21, 2013

By FBOTU | Comment

April 21, 2013 at 9:54AM EDT

“This is a strange town. You can feel it in your balls.”
-Peter Rumancek (Landon Liboiron), Hemlock Grove

April 14, 2013

By FBOTU | Comment

April 14, 2013 at 12:40AM EDT

“You will give the people of Earth an ideal to strive towards. They will race behind you. They will stumble. They will fall. But in time, they will join you in the sun. In time, you will help them accomplish wonders.”
-Jor-El, Man of Steel

April 7, 2013

By FBOTU | Comment

April 07, 2013 at 12:31AM EDT

“They were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Of course they became heroes.”
-Princess Leia, Star Wars (novelization)

March 31, 2013

By FBOTU | Comment

March 31, 2013 at 12:23AM EDT

Dave Lizewski: How do I get a hold of you?
Hit Girl: You just contact the mayor’s office. He has a special signal he shines in the sky; it’s in the shape of a giant c*ck.
-Kick-Ass

March 24, 2013

By FBOTU | Comment

March 24, 2013 at 12:14AM EDT

Cheryl: The party’s starting, and this dress makes me look like a whore!
Malory: Oh, you don’t look like a whore. An idiot maybe. Or both. Yes! A whorediot.
-Archer, “Space Race (Part 2)”

March 17, 2013

By FBOTU | Comment

March 17, 2013 at 9:37AM EDT

Coach Wolf: Jerri, uh, what does V-I-C-T-O-R-Y spell?
Jerri Blank: Fandango? Hobocamp? Ho…hobocamp!
-“The Blank Page,” Strangers with Candy

March 10, 2013

By FBOTU | Comment

March 10, 2013 at 9:40AM EDT

Dean: You gave yourself your own nickname? You can’t do that.
Digger: Who died and made you queen?
-Supernatural, “Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid”

March 3, 2013

By FBOTU | Comment

March 03, 2013 at 9:34AM EDT

Mitchell: Hey Cam, does the gardener usually work on Saturdays?
Cam: I don’t know. He comes when we need him. He’s like Batman, but straight.
-Modern Family, “Not in My House”

February 24, 2013

By FBOTU | Comment

February 24, 2013 at 9:33AM EDT

“Stanley, gay people…well…gay people are evil. Evil right down to their cold, black hearts, which pump not blood like yours and mine, but rather a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior. Do you understand?”
-Mr. Garrison, “Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride,” South Park

February 17, 2013

By FBOTU | Comment

February 17, 2013 at 9:31AM EDT

“People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.”
-Karl Pilkington, The Ricky Gervais Show

February 10, 2013

By FBOTU | Comment

February 10, 2013 at 12:02AM EDT

“We had our own Pearl Harbor here today. Oh my god, how could you do this to us? You literally bombed us, like the Japanese you are. And me, I’m Ben Affleck. I’m Ben Affleck, and I’m holding two f***ing girl’s arms. And you’re Cuba Gooding, Jr., disappointing everybody. Live with that!”
-Trisha Cappelletti, The Most Popular Girls in School, “Episode 11”

February 3, 2013

By FBOTU | Comment

February 03, 2013 at 12:00AM EDT

“Courage of the heart is very rare. The stone has a power when it’s there.”
-Nicodemus, The Secret of NIMH

January 27, 2013

By FBOTU | Comment

January 27, 2013 at 11:55PM EDT

“I know who you are. I can see you. You’re swearing now that someday you’ll destroy me. Remember…far better women than you have sworn to do the same. Go look for them now.”
-Atia of the Julii, Rome, “De Patre Vostro”

January 20, 2013

By FBOTU | Comment

January 20, 2013 at 11:49PM EDT

“You see Penny’s giving it up; she’s giving it up hard. ‘Cause she’s with Captain Hammer. And these are not the hammer…The hammer is my penis.”
-Captain Hammer, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

January 13, 2013

By FBOTU | Comment

January 13, 2013 at 12:09AM EDT

Gene: It’s the documentarian who hates dad and puts wigs on cows!
Tina: Werner Herzog?
-Bob’s Burgers, “Food Truckin’”

January 6, 2013

By FBOTU | Comment

January 06, 2013 at 12:01AM EDT

“Do you know why you tilt your head in that way? It’s an involuntary reflex in your physiology. It changes the angle at which sound waves hit the eardrum, allowing you more stimuli. Like a lizard. I’ve studied them, too. Intriguing characters. Their brains have evolved over three hundred and twenty million years, yet for all their evolution, they form no bonds. Love does not exist for them. They are incapable of dreaming, of contemplating beauty, of knowing something greater than themselves. Not unlike your kind. The experiments we conducted right here, in this lab, yielded a surprising result. Because, for all your years of evolution, you inadvertently redeveloped and honed primitive instincts that we moved beyond long ago. So, in reality, you’re the animal.”
-Nina Sharp, Fringe, “Anomaly XB-6783746”