December 14, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

December 14, 2014 at 6:47PM EDT

“People think it’s actually three different plasma streams, but it’s all one. The long beam right here comes out, and the two smaller beams at the bottom, they’re still attached to it. They don’t start where the little metal hilt ends, okay? They’re attached to the other beam inside. The metal hilts are just casings around the little beams to protect your hand. Even if someone slices through the metal, they’re going to hit the beam right there. Any padawan knows that.”
-Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report

December 7, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

December 07, 2014 at 5:58PM EDT

Dandy: I was born of deadly sin. You knew what father had done to those little girls. You knew the risks of breeding with your cousin. You’re no better than the Roosevelts.
Gloria: How dare you say that name in this house!
-American Horror Story: Freak Show, “Bloodbath”

November 30, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

November 30, 2014 at 6:30PM EDT

Oliver: Last month you took on a man named Leonard Snart.
Barry: We call him Captain Cold.
Oliver: We can talk about you giving your enemies silly code names later.
Barry: You mean like over coffee with Deathstroke and the Huntress?
-The Flash, “Flash vs. Arrow”

November 23, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

November 23, 2014 at 6:33PM EDT

“I’m sorry that you’re starving because I ate all of your cops, even though you’re all still really fat, and I probably helped you lose some weight.”
-Lumpy Space Princess, Adventure Time, “The Monster”

November 16, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

November 16, 2014 at 7:23PM EDT

“Never trust a hug. It’s just a way to hide your face.”
-The Doctor, Doctor Who, “Death in Heaven”

November 9, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

November 09, 2014 at 6:18PM EDT

Sam: I don’t understand.
Dean: Me neither.
Sam: I mean, shouldn’t it be Deastiel?
Dean: Really? That’s your issue with this?
Sam: No. Of course, it’s not my issue. You know…how about…Sastiel? Samstiel?
Dean: Okay. All right. You know what? You’re gonna do that thing…where you just shut the hell up. Forever.
-Supernatural, “Fan Fiction”

November 2, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

November 02, 2014 at 5:54PM EDT

Josh: Didn’t think you were going to show.
Aiden: Didn’t think you were a vampire.
Josh: Ditto on the whole leader of a werewolf army thing. P.S. These pictures don’t really do you justice. You’re way hotter in person. You know, when you’re not murdering people.
Aiden: I shouldn’t have come.
Josh: Yeah, but you did. Why?
Aiden: I guess I hoped seeing you might make me feel a little less, I don’t know, alone.
Josh: Okay, look. Maybe for tonight, we could pretend things are different. I’m not a vampire. You’re not a wolf. The city isn’t about to implode. We could just, I don’t know, be ourselves.
Aiden: I’d like that.
-The Originals, “Live and Let Die”

October 26, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

October 26, 2014 at 5:43PM EDT

Laurel Lance: I don’t want your condolences. And I definitely don’t want your father’s. She died with arrows in her chest. Do you think that would have happened if she hadn’t met you? You were the one that showed her the darkness inside. You, and your father.
Nyssa al Ghul: I know you grieve, but so do I. I didn’t show Sara the darkness, Laurel. It was already inside of her when we met. When I found her, alone, starving and terrified, I protected her. I took Sara into my heart, and I loved her with all my soul. And that jacket…I gave it to Sara as a gift. You are not fit to wear it.
-Arrow, “The Magician”

October 19, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

October 19, 2014 at 5:37PM EDT

Green Lantern: You’ve been dying for this, haven’t you?
Wonder Woman: This isn’t giving me any pleasure. But I’m sure you’ve heard that before.
-Justice League #11

October 12, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

October 12, 2014 at 5:27PM EDT

Lt. Abbie Mills: [Regarding two men, holding hands] Is that considered acceptable now?
Lt. Abbie Mills: Oh, lots of attitudes have changed since your days. Not everyone’s, but the Supreme Court has upheld the constitutional right of same-sex couples. And more and more states are even legalizing gay marriage.
Ichabod Crane: I meant gentlemen wearing hats indoors. I know about homosexuals, thank you. I trained under Baron von Steuben. His affections for his own sex were well known. Also, I watched the finale of Glee.
-Sleepy Hollow, “Root of All Evil”

October 5, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

October 05, 2014 at 5:07PM EDT

Clara: Oh, don’t you ever tell me to mind my language, don’t you ever tell me to take the stabilizers off my bike, and don’t you dare lump me in with the rest of all the little humans that you think are so tiny and silly and predictable. You walk our Earth, Doctor. You breathe our air. You make us your friend when that is your mood to, and you can damned well help us when we need it.
Doctor: I was helping.
Clara: What, by clearing off?
Doctor: Yes.
Clara: Yeah, well clear off. Go on! You can clear off. Get back in your lonely…your lonely, bloody TARDIS, and you don’t come back.
-Doctor Who, “Kill the Moon”

September 28, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

September 28, 2014 at 5:34PM EDT

“No one in the history of torture’s been tortured with torture like the torture you’ll be tortured with.”
-Crowley, Supernatural, “King of the Damned”

September 21, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

September 21, 2014 at 5:28PM EDT

Veronica: Here, I bought you some briefs. The boxers you were wearing didn’t highlight your assets. Penisly speaking.
Ted: Thank you.
-Better Off Ted, “Racial Sensitivity”

September 14, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

September 14, 2014 at 5:01PM EDT

Klaus: I love my family. You, Elijah, I loved all of you. I know I can be difficult, but I did not make myself that way. It was Mikael who ruined me.
Rebekah: He ruined me, too, that’s what you forget. Centuries later, each of us is broken. You with your anger and paranoia; me with my fear of abandonment; and poor Elijah, he dedicates himself to everyone but himself. We are the strongest creatures in the world, and yet we’re damaged beyond repair. We lived without hope, but we will never die. We are the definition of cursed, always and forever.
-The Originals, “Farewell to Storyville”

September 7, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

September 07, 2014 at 4:53PM EDT

“Unbelievable! ‘Do you like my mask? Isn’t it pretty? It raises the dead.’ Americans!”
-Rupert Giles, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Dead Man’s Party”

August 31, 2014

By FBOTU | Comment

August 31, 2014 at 4:35PM EDT

“I believe in science. I believe in evolution. I believe in Nate Silver and Neil deGrasse Tyson and Christopher Hitchens. Although I do admit he could be kind of an asshole. I cannot get behind some supreme being who weighs in on the Tony Awards while a million people get whacked with machetes. I don’t believe a billion Indians are going to hell. I don’t think we get cancer to learn life lessons, and I don’t believe that people die young because God needs another angel. I think it’s just bullshit, and on some level, I think we all know that. I mean, don’t you? Look, I understand that religion makes it easier to deal with all of the random shitty things that happen to us. And I wish I could get on that ride; I’m sure I would be happier. But I can’t. Feelings aren’t enough. I need it to be real.”
-Piper Chapman, Orange Is the New Black, “Fool Me Once”

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