Saturday, February 20, 2010

FBOTU’s Weekly Comics Load: PARTHENOOM!

WHUDD! THUDD! CLICK!

Lots of stories wrapping up this week. Is that because of February sweeps? Or is there some comics timeline I’m not aware of, where all new storylines start in March and April? I was surprised to learn that the Blackest Night is still going on. It seemed like it had already wrapped up, with every title fighting and surviving the ordeal. However, the big question still left to be answered is will any previously dead heroes be making a permanent comeback when all is said and done? Or will everything go back as it was before? And if everything goes back as it was before, what am I going to do with all these rainbow Lantern t-shirts I bought?

Be sure to let us know what you’re reading this week in the Comics Forum or right here in the comments section. Now, on with the Load!

	The Amazing Spider-Man #621 I don’t think it’s hyperbole to announce that we are currently experiencing a new golden age in comics, thanks entirely to Evil Aunt May in the current Spider-Man storyline. In addition to being a total megabitch, May has also left behind her dusty, Victorian bun and is now rocking a sassy bob. I know we’re heading towards Spidey doing everything he can to change her back to the simpering old bat she used to be, but since he’s failed at absolutely everything he’s every tried, I’m hopeful that Evil May is here to stay. She’s already destroyed Peter and Harry. Please, please, oh please let Mary Jane be next in line for the wrath of May.
	Batman #696 This had better be a fake-out. Dick has been compromised, supposedly running around killing people on the Penguin’s behalf. Since I’m firmly in the “let Bruce stay lost in a cave” camp, I worry this latest development will be used in a case against Dick remaining Batman. Or worse, lead to his death and a lot of “tsk-tsk-tsking” by other self-righteous heroes. Well, they can all suck it, because Dick rules! On a side note, I think it’s very sweet that Damian and Babs came to Dick’s rescue so quickly. That kind of stuff always gets me. I, too, was one shot and thrown out a window into the bay, only to wash up on shore hours later, pecked by birds. Unfortunately, no one noticed, and I had to take a cab home. So, you know, it’s nice to have friends.
	Batman: Streets of Gotham #9 Similarly, Dick is saved in this issue from having to have sex with a prostitute thanks to the timely entrance of her partner in crime. I certainly have nothing against prostitutes, but Dick doesn’t need any more violations on his Batman record. This little story arc comes to an end with Commissioner Gordon putting said prostitute on a bus out of town. It would have been funnier if he’d just paid her for a blowjob instead.
	Green Lantern: Blackest Night #51 The only thing better than Evil Aunt May this week is the much-heralded return of Larfleeze. In an all-too-brief appearance, he and Lex Luthor fight over the orange power lantern. Luthor tries to explain the potential of forming an army of avarice, to which Larfleeze replies, “I do not understand your babbling.” That is now going to be my standard response to, well, everything. A friend of mine just had a baby and I begged her to name it Larfleeze. She refused, proving once again how selfish straight people are with their babies. Now, I will be forced to adopt a baby of my own and name it Larfleeze Grayson Conner. Or, if it’s a girl, I’ll name it Larfleeze Grayson May. Needless to say, little Larfleeze will be the most popular kid on the playground, and I promise never to teach him or her to share.
	The Incredible Hercules #141 This is such a strange book, whiplashing from high comedy on one page to Greek tragedy on the next. It makes for a very uneven read. But I did want to give a shout out this week to the hilarious use of onomatopoeia, with all-caps splashes like “PARTHENOOM” and “THROTEPUNCH,” it reads like an episode of Strong Bad’s Teen Girl Squad.
	Spider-Man 1602 #5 This bizarre little tale wraps up with this issue in the grossest ways possible. We’ve got guys licking blood off the floor, tentacles being chopped and bitten off and octopus ink-spitting. Thank the fates we at least get this semi-nude shot of gigantic Henri Pym emerging from the slimy depths of a Venice canal. It makes me want to write a comic about a naked, crime-fighting giant. I would call it “Goliath’s Revenge.”
	Supergirl #50 So, I’ve been reading Supergirl for over a year now, and while I hold no great animosity toward the character, I just realized while reading her special 50th issue that I don’t really know her that well, either. I don’t have a clear sense of her character, like I do for so many others. There’s never been a moment where I’ve said, “That’s such a Supergirl thing to do.” Who is she? What is her personality exactly? Why does she look so different from panel to panel? Perhaps, original Supergirl Helen Slater has been reading my mind, because she contributes a brief synopsis of the character for this special issue. Now, it’s been years since I’ve seen the Supergirl movie, and maybe it’s high time we do a podcast retrospective on the camp classic. However, I don’t really remember her having much of a personality there, either. So, what am I missing, kids? What makes Supergirl tick? Why is she special or interesting to you?
	Supernatural #2 Since I’ve recently become obsessed with all things Supernatural, I decided to pick up this book and give it a try. Young Sam and Dean are traveling the country with dear old crazy dad, hunting their mom’s killer and offing demons along the way. You’d think this would afford a lot of opportunities for Sam to take his shirt off, but sadly, no. Instead, we gets lots of emotion and turmoil as Sam continues to rebel against his dad’s mania and his brother’s blind acceptance. For a prequel, this series has actually been surprisingly well-written and packs quite an emotional punch. But is it canon? Dunno. But it is a good read. If you’re a Supernatural fan, this is worth picking up.

That’s it for this week, kids! Happy reading! And remember: “I do not understand your babbling.”