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Roleplay Like It’s 1985

By Chance

September 23, 2008 at 1:48AM EDT

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I’ve been so swept up in my World of Warcraft questing that it’s easy to forget the old days, before MMORPGs, back when you had to use your…what was it…hold on, let me look it up on Google—imagination! You had to use your imagination and a couple of dice and maybe some graph paper. I had pretty much forgotten my foray into the world of Dungeons & Dragons until I happened to see that a new introductory set is going to be released this fall. According to the Wizards of the Coast website, the new edition “introduces the complex world of D&D play to new fans in simple, easy-to-understand ways.” Translation: They’ve dumbed it way down for today’s stupid children. I vividly remember saving up to buy the bright red introductory box that held the key to being transported to another world. A dangerous and daring world that the news was beginning to warn parents about. I couldn’t wait. I read the instruction manual over and over, used the white crayon to color in the numbers on the dice, and waited to be corrupted by demonic forces. Nothing happened. I had no one to play with. So I started watching the D&D cartoon instead, always hoping that Hank and Eric would leave the others behind and go off skinny-dipping and maybe make out. Which probably explains why no one would play with me. Apparently, I needed no further corruption, demonic or otherwise.

    Previous Comments

  • Havoc 09/23/2008 03:36 pm

    I used to love painting role play miniatures.
    Even when I finally got a mate who was into them too we never played. Just spent the whole time painting them.

  • Chance 09/23/2008 10:04 am

    Wow, Razz-Bel. That’s the hottest D & D story I’ve ever heard. A good Dungeon Master can make all the difference.

    wink

    Johnny M, you frighten and arouse me.

  • Johnny M 09/23/2008 03:14 am

    I HATE the 4th edition rules of D & D.  I’ve been playing since I was 10, so I have, literally, every incarnation at home up to 3.5.  I like all of them, but my favorite is still 2nd edition with the Player’s Option books.  Only problem is, you need to have taken advanced math classes to understand the rules, which is why I usually default to 3.5 when I’m running games.

    But 4th edition is designed to appeal to teenagers who can’t get enough WoW in their lives, and it shows.  They don’t even try to hide the fact.  So I refuse to buy any of the new books.

  • Razz-Bel 09/23/2008 03:06 am

    True story: When I was younger (oh, about 18 or so) a friend started to show me how to play D & D.  It was a long and complex (yet fun) talk.  I created a character, and before you knew it, it was late at night and there in the entrance to a cave after having just extinguishing a fire monster, I began rolling around on the carpet making out with the dungeon master and I had a 10-sided dice stuck to my sweaty back.  We never got much further.  I can’t believe I’d forgotten about that.

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