Click for Adam‘s review of Robert Rodriguez’s Machete!
Film: Machete Starring: Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Jeff Fahey, Robert De Niro, Steven Seagal, Don Johnson, Lindsay Lohan and Cheech Marin Written by: Robert Rodriguez & Álvaro Rodriguez Directed by: Ethan Maniquis & Robert Rodriguez Genre: “Mexploitation,” action, comedy Rating: 6 out of 10/B-
The opening scenes of Machete introduce us to the titular character, a renegade Mexican Federale, as he embarks on a rescue mission to free a nubile young woman from the clutches of Torrez (Steven Seagal), the most powerful and bloodthirsty drug kingpin in all of Mexico. As Machete reaches the girl, drugged and naked deep within the bad guy’s hideout, and tosses her barely conscious (and still naked) body over his shoulder, slicing and dicing his way to freedom through hordes of faceless evil henchmen, it’s obvious that this film knows exactly what its audience wants to see. This sequence, a bloody, hilarious orgy of gunfire, decapitations, explosions and gratuitous nudity, delivers such gleefully inspired mayhem right out of the gate, that it seems unlikely the rest of the film will ever be able to top it. And, for the most part, it doesn’t.
The rescue eventually goes sour, ending with Machete lying broken and defeated at the feet of his mortal enemy. We then flash forward three years to find Machete now toiling as a day laborer in a Texas border town. One day a black sedan pulls up with a mysterious man named Booth (Jeff Fahey) inside. The man has an offer for Machete: assassinate McLaughlin (Robert De Niro), a militant right-wing senator who’s been making life difficult for illegal immigrants all across the state. In exchange, he will be paid a handsome reward of $150,000.
It’s no surprise to learn that this offer leads to an inevitable double-cross, with Machete forced to go on the lam, or that it’s only the beginning of a messy, convoluted plot that involves: the world’s sexiest taco-truck vendor/leader of an underground immigration network (Michelle Rodriguez); the world’s sexiest Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent (Jessica Alba); Don Johnson as a trigger-happy border vigilante; Cheech Marin as Machete’s brother, a somewhat unorthodox priest; and Lindsay Lohan as Booth’s slutty, drug-addicted pornstar daughter (as one of my companions astutely noted, it’s more than likely Lohan just stumbled unannounced onto the set one day, and the directors just decided to keep filming). The picture does attempt to appear the slightest bit more than skin-deep, serving as a timely and surprisingly heartfelt, if heavy-handed, commentary on the current state of immigration politics in our country.
But none of that really matters; no one goes into a film like this for the plot. Machete began its life in 2007 as the breakout star amongst the handful of trailers created to accompany Grindhouse, directors Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino‘s double-feature ode to sleazy 1970s B-movies. However, in its feature-length form, it suffers in comparison to those two supremely entertaining films. Machete doesn’t quite reach the giddy highs of Grindhouse, in part because the sheer novelty of the exploitation genre’s reemergence has worn off somewhat in the years since that film’s release. Still, while the film does have an unfortunate amount of lulls between all the splatter, it should have enough intestine-grappling, limb-severing, mother-daughter-threesome-having action to satisfy fans.
Maybe it’s the fact that my Grindhouse theater-going experience benefited from one of the best audiences I’ve had the pleasure of being a part of. That crowd literally stood up and cheered during the brutal revenge beat-down that concluded Death Proof. Sadly, Machete‘s crowd was a sparsely populated theater of maybe a dozen other people (two of whom walked out about halfway through); not exactly lending an air of excitement to the viewing experience. Films like this live or die based on the enthusiasm of their audiences.
Machete is clearly Robert Rodriguez’s love letter to his leading man, and in that regard it’s a complete success. It’s fantastic to see the 66-year-old (!) Danny Trejo carrying a movie for the first time after a 25-plus year career playing bit parts as standard gruff, hoodlum-type characters. He carries the film well: playing the bad-ass, romancing the ladies and showing enough stringy-haired, leathery-faced charisma that I wouldn’t mind in the slightest if Rodriguez makes good on his film-concluding promise that “Machete will return.” I just hope he ditches the ridiculous plot next time.
That’s pretty much exactly what I would have written for the review. I liked it a lot, but it was about 10 minutes too long, and all of it involving plot. I think part of the problem is that it peaks way too soon. The final battle is fantastic, but there’s so much WTF-ery in the first half that the movie sets itself up for disappointment.
That being said, I made way too much noise when I saw the Crazy Babysitter Twins in nurse’s uniforms mowing down people with automatic weapons.
Movie Review: Danny Trejo vs. The World
By Adam
September 09, 2010 at 2:45AM EDT
Film: Machete
Starring: Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Jeff Fahey, Robert De Niro, Steven Seagal, Don Johnson, Lindsay Lohan and Cheech Marin
Written by: Robert Rodriguez & Álvaro Rodriguez
Directed by: Ethan Maniquis & Robert Rodriguez
Genre: “Mexploitation,” action, comedy
Rating: 6 out of 10/B-
The opening scenes of Machete introduce us to the titular character, a renegade Mexican Federale, as he embarks on a rescue mission to free a nubile young woman from the clutches of Torrez (Steven Seagal), the most powerful and bloodthirsty drug kingpin in all of Mexico. As Machete reaches the girl, drugged and naked deep within the bad guy’s hideout, and tosses her barely conscious (and still naked) body over his shoulder, slicing and dicing his way to freedom through hordes of faceless evil henchmen, it’s obvious that this film knows exactly what its audience wants to see. This sequence, a bloody, hilarious orgy of gunfire, decapitations, explosions and gratuitous nudity, delivers such gleefully inspired mayhem right out of the gate, that it seems unlikely the rest of the film will ever be able to top it. And, for the most part, it doesn’t.
The rescue eventually goes sour, ending with Machete lying broken and defeated at the feet of his mortal enemy. We then flash forward three years to find Machete now toiling as a day laborer in a Texas border town. One day a black sedan pulls up with a mysterious man named Booth (Jeff Fahey) inside. The man has an offer for Machete: assassinate McLaughlin (Robert De Niro), a militant right-wing senator who’s been making life difficult for illegal immigrants all across the state. In exchange, he will be paid a handsome reward of $150,000.
It’s no surprise to learn that this offer leads to an inevitable double-cross, with Machete forced to go on the lam, or that it’s only the beginning of a messy, convoluted plot that involves: the world’s sexiest taco-truck vendor/leader of an underground immigration network (Michelle Rodriguez); the world’s sexiest Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent (Jessica Alba); Don Johnson as a trigger-happy border vigilante; Cheech Marin as Machete’s brother, a somewhat unorthodox priest; and Lindsay Lohan as Booth’s slutty, drug-addicted pornstar daughter (as one of my companions astutely noted, it’s more than likely Lohan just stumbled unannounced onto the set one day, and the directors just decided to keep filming). The picture does attempt to appear the slightest bit more than skin-deep, serving as a timely and surprisingly heartfelt, if heavy-handed, commentary on the current state of immigration politics in our country.
But none of that really matters; no one goes into a film like this for the plot. Machete began its life in 2007 as the breakout star amongst the handful of trailers created to accompany Grindhouse, directors Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino‘s double-feature ode to sleazy 1970s B-movies. However, in its feature-length form, it suffers in comparison to those two supremely entertaining films. Machete doesn’t quite reach the giddy highs of Grindhouse, in part because the sheer novelty of the exploitation genre’s reemergence has worn off somewhat in the years since that film’s release. Still, while the film does have an unfortunate amount of lulls between all the splatter, it should have enough intestine-grappling, limb-severing, mother-daughter-threesome-having action to satisfy fans.
Maybe it’s the fact that my Grindhouse theater-going experience benefited from one of the best audiences I’ve had the pleasure of being a part of. That crowd literally stood up and cheered during the brutal revenge beat-down that concluded Death Proof. Sadly, Machete‘s crowd was a sparsely populated theater of maybe a dozen other people (two of whom walked out about halfway through); not exactly lending an air of excitement to the viewing experience. Films like this live or die based on the enthusiasm of their audiences.
Machete is clearly Robert Rodriguez’s love letter to his leading man, and in that regard it’s a complete success. It’s fantastic to see the 66-year-old (!) Danny Trejo carrying a movie for the first time after a 25-plus year career playing bit parts as standard gruff, hoodlum-type characters. He carries the film well: playing the bad-ass, romancing the ladies and showing enough stringy-haired, leathery-faced charisma that I wouldn’t mind in the slightest if Rodriguez makes good on his film-concluding promise that “Machete will return.” I just hope he ditches the ridiculous plot next time.
Reviewed by ADAM
Comments
Oh good, I’m glad I’m not the only one who got super excited when the Crazy Babysitter Twins made their appearance.
That’s pretty much exactly what I would have written for the review. I liked it a lot, but it was about 10 minutes too long, and all of it involving plot. I think part of the problem is that it peaks way too soon. The final battle is fantastic, but there’s so much WTF-ery in the first half that the movie sets itself up for disappointment.
That being said, I made way too much noise when I saw the Crazy Babysitter Twins in nurse’s uniforms mowing down people with automatic weapons.
Enter Your Comment
Headlines
ADVERTISMENT