FBOTU’s Weekly Comics Load: Love! Valour! Compassion!

By Chance

August 31, 2010 at 11:03AM EDT

A full serving of your recommended daily geekiness! Now in fruit flavors!

Greetings, fellow comics aficionados. The first thing you’ll notice, I’m sure, is the total lack of Batman in this week’s Comics Load. I might have to do a separate post just to express everything I’m feeling about Bruce Wayne’s imminent return. I mean, does anyone actually want him to return? Does anyone besides his Kryptonian buttboy actually miss him? If I were Dick, I’d be running around sabotaging his return, spray painting over cave paintings and smashing his bat recordings. Let him stay lost in that “Darkseid-shaped” hole in time. Ugh, shut up, Bruce Wayne.

Now, on with the Load! My thanks again to Brian Andersen for his contributions!

	Astonishing X-Men #35 Another week, and yet again, another X-cover that doesn’t accurately reflect the story inside (Damn you, Blob!). Now, if Marvel really wanted to show the reader what was going on in this long-winded, exposition-heavy issue, they should have just typed up a bunch of rambling words, stuck them on the cover and had the X-Men snoring away in the background from sheer boredom. Now that would have nailed this issue to a tee. I mean, three whole pages and eleven panels filled with balloon after balloon with just the villain talking on and on and on about why he hates mutants so much? Barf! No amount of art by fellow queer artist Phil Jimenez—nor his rendering of Emma Frost with her Farrah Fawcett inspired hair—can salvage this comic. -Brian
	Dark Wolverine #90 In this final issue of Dark Wolverine, Dakken strolls around San Francisco pointing out all the people he could be killing. Which, strangely enough, is what I do when I’m in San Francisco. In between musing about the Zodiac killer and frightening old fortune tellers, Dakken takes in the sites, leers at both men and women and brushes creepily up against his daddy’s girlfriend. All of this weirdo behavior is supposed to prepare us for the end of Dark Wolverine and the beginning of the completely different Dakken: Dark Wolverine. I better write that new title down, so I don’t forget it! -Chance
	Green Arrow #3 Of course! What Ollie has been missing all along is a hunky medieval knight to bugger some sense into him! Somehow, the mystical forest in the middle of Star City continues to turn into a cross between Sherwood Forest and Whispering Woods. (Did you spot Loo-Kee?) If you recall, the last issue ended with Ollie taking an arrow between the eyes. Luckily, Sir Galahad shows up just in time to dip Ollie in a magic pond and save his life. Yes, it’s as homoerotic as it sounds. Now Ollie can take another pointy object in another part of his anatomy. Penis. I’m talking about penis. -Chance
	Honey West #1 Full disclosure here: I’m a friend (and a gigantic fan) of writer Trina Robbins. She’s talented, a living legend and just plain fabulous. So, you know, I’m kinda, super biased. That being said, I actually enjoyed this comic a great deal. I mean, who doesn’t love a sassy gal detective who dresses in leopard print, has a pet leopard and goes undercover at a topless strip bar to uncover a killer? If you’re like me, then you might not know who the heck this Honey West is, but based on the ad for a collection of DVDs staring a real-live actress who played Honey West on television, I’ve gathered that there used to be a show or something about the character. So if you’re a fan of nostalgia, noir-ish stories, or just enjoy a groovy who-done-it, this book is so worth picking up. Also, I adore the lively art by Cynthia Martin. So, you know, truth be told, I’m double-biased. So sue me. -Brian
	Justice League: Generation Lost #8 Remember when I was excited about this title and the whole Max Lord thing? I don’t. The problem is that I have no patience. And I can see this storyline dragging on for the next 27 years. So, I really need to decide if I care about this or not. I like the characters. I like some of the dialogue. But the whole “no one believes us” shtick is already getting old, and it’s only issue #8! -Chance
	Wonder Woman #602 Ohhhh…back when we were all up in arms about the new Wonder Woman costume, why didn’t they tell us it looks kind of cool when she finally takes her Members Only jacket off? I would have been far less harsh in my 10-page manifesto against the new costume. However, I have to imagine the strappy bindings were designed so Comic-Con chicks can tie themselves up for the amusement of comic book writers. Well, the joke will be on them when I show up all strapped up and ready to fight. Look out, JMS! -Chance
	X-Factor #208 Wolfsbane, you naughty, naughty, religiously-conflicted, desperate liar you. I love how much our short-haired, former New Mutant goodie-goodie has turned into such a wild, messed up, pregnant wreck. I’m so into this book and the whole soap opera-y bi/gay love affair between Rictor and Shatterstar, that I just can’t wait to read this book each month. Plus, how hot was it to see Ric and Star running around most of the issue with their pants half-buttoned because their sex-fest was so rudely interrupted? Yup, a gay love in an actual Marvel comic. Oh yeah, there’s lots of great reasons to pick this comic up. -Brian

That’s it for this week’s Load. Be sure to let us know what you’re reading or recommending this week!