FBOTU’s Weekly Comics Load: Flying Fetus of Doom

By Chance

February 13, 2010 at 7:00AM EDT

If you love me, you’ll click it.

 

I’ve been shopping for custom superhero costumes lately. One costumer took my money and disappeared. Another guy only responds to emails once a day, so if I have a follow-up question, I have to wait 24 hours for a response. It is a strange, strange world out there in spandex costume land. I’m thinking Conner and Cassie have the right idea. T-shirt. Jeans. Reconstituted clone corpse. What more do you need, really? However, if you have a good costumer, please let me know. And be sure to let us know what you’ve been reading this week, either here in the comments section or over in the Comics Forum. Now, on with the Load!

	Action Comics #886 For the love of Rao, does anyone care about Flamebird and Nightwing anymore? Did anyone ever? No personalities, no charisma, yet we’re supposed to care about their endless run of self-pitying trauma? You know what they need to do? Join the Titans. They’ll be dead in a week. The only reason I can see to get this book is the lovingly rendered tribute to Captain Atom’s ass.
	Adventure Comics #7 You know who’s becoming my favorite character? Krypto. I don’t even like dogs or animals or anything that could remotely be considered cute, but I would read a Krypto title. Marvel has The Pet Avengers, so how about it, DC? He’s very good at following orders and digging up corpses. Endless possibilities there.
	The Amazing Spider-Man #620 Sadly, no update on Aunt May’s reign of terror in this issue. I’m just going to imagine she’s off teasing orphans or emasculating her new husband in some delightfully cruel way. Instead, Spider-Man has a final face-off with Mysterio on a floating trash barge. You know what would be awesome? If, during the fight, Spidey suddenly notices a box of his baby pictures that Aunt May threw out.
	Batgirl #7 Stephanie is finally gaining some acceptance from Dick, thanks to her efforts to save his well-toned butt from Roulette. And wouldn’t you know it? Her heroics are just in time for Tim to come back and freak the hell out. At least Steph has Francisco to turn to. Oh wait, he’s gay. I’m assuming that’s why they named him Francisco.
	Batman and Robin #8 Grant Morrison’s ridiculously circuitous plan is nearly one-quarter complete. Dick’s entire character has changed since just two issues ago, and now we get a big plot revelation about his dearly departed Bruce. And someone dies. Guess which gay character it is?
	Booster Gold #29 You’re a booster, Booster Gold! In your golden tights, fighting for our rights! I forget how the rest goes. Anyway, Michelle is still in the wrong place at the wrong time, but at least Booster is on the way to make sure everyone, including his sister, dies a horrible, horrible death. Wait, that can’t be right. Dan Jurgens is pretty good with faces and hair, but he continues to fail when it comes to butts and bulges. Booster’s always sporting a Barbie doll crotch and check out his non-existent moneymaker here. Seriously, Dan, give the boy a little something to work with.
	Secret Six #18 “The night’s still young. I got mean I haven’t even used yet.” That’s just one of Amanda Waller’s zingers in this dialogue-heavy issue. The gang survives their Blackest Night encounter, though their headquarters doesn’t. Hey, I hear the Batcave is empty. Now that the whole team is powered up again, does that mean they’ll call themselves the Secret Seven? Or will someone just die? I can probably guess the answer to that.
	Titans #22 It always makes my heart soar when heroes begrudgingly decide to stick around and do their duty. Wait, no it doesn’t. This is such a weird book. I want to care about each character’s dark night of the soul, but mostly I just want someone, anyone, to snap out of it and step up and be a superhero. No more therapy; just kick some ass.
	Unwritten #10 I hate it when characters have information that would be useful to other characters, but say, “I can’t tell you. Not yet.” Tom Taylor hates it, too, and in what might be a first in all of known Western literature, he does something about it: he starts burning things and trading inside info with the bad guys. This book is a reimagining of the Harry Potter phenomenon, so I can’t help thinking how awesome it would have been if Harry had set Dumbledore’s office on fire and held Ron and Hermione hostage until he got some answers. We’ll never know, of course, but at least we have Tom Taylor.

That’s it for this week, folks! Happy reading!