FBOTU’s Weekly Comics Load: Poor Mon-El

By Chance

January 30, 2010 at 7:00AM EDT

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By Odin’s beard! Why are there so many damn comics out this week?! It’s absurd. I will do my best to keep this short, but you know how I like to go off on things. Be sure to let us know what you’re reading this week and if your Load is as big as mine. Hit the Comics Forum or leave your comments here. Now, on with the Load!

	The Amazing Spider-Man #619 There’s all kinds of mayhem going on here involving the mob and people coming back from the dead, but the real story is Aunt May’s continuing reign of terror. In this week’s issue, she rips Harry Osborne and the Boston babes to shreds and orders them out of her house. Please, please let evil May stay for a while…like, forever.
	The Atom and Hawkman #46 There seems to be some confusion at DC over whether or not the Atom’s new Indigo outfit includes pants. When he first transformed over in Blackest Night-land, he had no pants, just a loincloth. In this continuation, he has red pants to go with his purple attire, except on the last page, when he’s pantsless again. I vote for no pants. But you probably could have guessed that.
	Batman and Robin #7 Leave it to Grant Morrison to undo months of character development from the Battle for the Cowl and Batman titles. Now, for some reason, Dick has gone nuts and plans to resurrect Bruce, going against all his beliefs and everything he taught Tim. Oh, and Dick and Kate seem to switch bodies in a couple of panels, since their word balloons are all messed up. This had all better be going somewhere, but I doubt it.
	Batwoman in Detective Comics #861 Why does anyone live in Gotham? It’s not like there aren’t a zillion better places to live, like the Gaza Strip or downtown Baghdad. This week’s Gotham ghoulie is a Buffalo Bill-style serial killer called “Cutter.” Yes, it’s as horrible as it sounds. But Kate is on the case, so I’m not worried. Is it weird that I have a crush on a lesbian?
	Captain America Reborn #6 OMG! Captain America is alive! But then we knew that, because this title is late. Oh well, it’s nice to finally see how everything ended. The attractive people save the day and the unattractive people die, get more unattractive or run away. And Bucky is relieved he doesn’t have to pretend to be a top anymore.
	Daredevil #504 You know how sometimes people get a little recognition or power and it goes to their heads? One day they’re all cool and your friend, and then the next day they’re putting their enemies in cages, shoulder-deep in sewage? I don’t know. Maybe it’s a phase.
	Gotham City Sirens #8 Speaking of friends, I like that Sirens is taking its own sweet time in developing the relationships between these women. In this issue, Selina declares that she and Harley are Ivy’s friends, dammit! To which Ivy replies, “Friends? No. Teammates by necessity, but friends?” It’s a much more realistic take than, say, the Teen Titans and their “we’re an instant family” shtick.
	Green Lantern #50 I missed the whole Parallax storyline, so I have no clue if his/its return is a big deal or not. I’m more impressed with the fact that Red Lantern Mera declares, “I never wanted children” before blowing away her zombie baby. Take that, Tim Tebow.
	Justice Leage: Cry for Justice #6 You know things are bad when Supergirl is the smartest hero in the room. Prometheus pretty much kicks everyone’s ass in this issue and you start to wonder just what the good guys are good for. Next issue is the last, so they better figure it all out fast.
	Ms. Marvel #49 What’s the male equivalent of a damsel in distress? A dude in distress? A himbo in distress? It will come to me. But by any name, it’s kind of hot when it’s up to the woman to save the man, especially when that man’s in tights. I’m guessing Mystique will have Captain Marvel tied to some train tracks in the next issue. I support that.
	New Avengers #61 Writers are either good at writing Spider-Man banter or they’re not. Luckily, Brian Michael Bendis is writing this, so it’s some of the best Spidey banter we’ve seen in a while. The scenes between Spider-Man and Spider-Woman on stakeout are fantastic, with probably the best punchline I’ve read in ages. The three pages of their back-and-forth wordplay is worth the price of the book alone.
	Supergirl #49 When did comics get so gross? Will someone please tell me when the black, gooey bug cocoon scenes are over? Until then, I’m skipping this title. Ick.
	Superman #696 Normally, I would be delighted to see this near-naked shot of Mon-El strapped to a table. However, in the most disturbing revelation of the year, we find out what sort of vivisection experiments were being performed on him while in General Lane’s custody. That’s pretty f**ked up right there.
	Teen Titans #79 Please, no more speeches from Cassie. I agree with Bombshell, who says, “I object to discussing this any further.” But that doesn’t stop her; she keeps going. A leader leads, Cassie. Try that for once.
	Thor #606 For those of you who may not be keeping up, even after the banishment of Thor and the whole Latveria disaster, Balder is still taking advice from Loki. Too bad he’s in a different universe, or I would suggest sending Balder to General Lane for some experiments. Idiot.
	Wonder Woman #40 Is there anything creepier than creepy, evil children? A new plot begins, which I’m already hoping will end with Wonder Woman beating the hell out of a bunch of junior high kids. Can’t wait to see that!
	X-Factor #201 I still love the irreverent, “we may not know what we’re doing” feel of this title. But did something happen between Longshot and Shatterstar that I missed? There’s a reference to them being “connected.” If anyone knows, please fill me in. Be my anchor.

Whew! That’s a lot of comics. Hope you enjoyed your titles this week. Happy reading!