Is November a sweeps month in the world of comics or what? Because stuff is happening! Big stuff. Crazy stuff. Pink stuff. It’s nuts! We have a lot to get through, so I shan’t tarry a moment longer. (I defy you to find “shan’t tarry” in any other comics review blog on the interwebs.) Members have been posting their thoughts on this week’s comics over in the Comics Forum. You can join them there, or feel free to post your comments here. Now, on with the Load!
The Amazing Spider-Man #611: I’ve had a headache for about 24 hours now, and I’m blaming this comic. That faint sound of slapping you hear is not your roommate pleasuring himself, but of Spider-Man’s writers patting themselves on the back for being oh-so-clever and oh-so-meta-comics-commentary-ironic. Let’s play word association. Bold type will be my therapist:
Stylistic Artwork?
Headache. Deadpool’s puns and repartee?
Headache. Spidey’s puns and repartee?
Headache. Fifth-grade gay jokes?
Headache.
I know the banter possibilities of putting Spider-Man and Deadpool together are staggering, but it all felt extremely forced. A shout-out to Geoff Johns, former Avengers writer and current Blackest Night architect, genuinely made me laugh, until they ran the gag into the ground. I’ll sum up this issue for you, so you don’t have to read it: Spider-Man and Deadpool are both smart-asses who respect each other a lot, but not in a gay way. Done. Let’s move on.
Batgirl #4: I’ve been moaning about this title for four issues now. Why are they making Steph such a goofball? Can only an orphan be appropriately serious as a superhero? If so, can someone please kill her mom, so she can get on with it? Sorry, that was mean. I’m sure Steph will grow into the role. She’s got Barbara as her mentor, so I’m still holding out hope. Meanwhile, Barbara is still trying to get close to Wendy. You know, Wendy…of Marvin and Wendy. She accidentally walked through Titans and ended up paralyzed. Which brings me to the first of what will eventually be a long list:
The FBOTU Rules of Comics #1: Stay away from the Titans, unless you want to die.
I still think Wendy has supervillainess potential. Barbara is trying to convince her to accept her wheelchair destiny, and that’s fine. She can be a supervillainess in a wheelchair. Like Nessa Rose or Blanche Hudson.
Batman and Robin #6: Poor Jason Todd. He just can’t catch a…um…I’m sorry. I really can’t continue until we talk about the cover. It’s driving me to distraction:
Flamingo or Flaming ‘Mo?
No, it’s not a sequel to Purple Rain. That’s the Flamingo, the newest and pinkest villain in Gotham. It only takes 11 pages for Robin to say what everyone’s thinking: “I was expecting scary, not gay.” I’ve decided not to be offended by the remark, because Damian is something of a jerk, so it makes sense that he would say jerky things. Plus, I also had a somewhat stereotypical reaction to the Flamingo: “Girl, what are you wearing?” True, his outfit is no more garish than the Joker’s or the Riddler’s or any number of sartorially challenged fellows in Batman’s rogues gallery. Plus, hasn’t Jason been wearing what looks like a Hitachi Magic Wand attachment on his head for the past six issues? Whether the Flamingo is going to be gay or just from Florida, I don’t know. But let’s examine that super gay cover, shall we?
1. Check out Batman. On his back, head thrown back, legs spread, sporting a modest bulge, essentially straddling the bike. 2. Meanwhile, Flamingo hovers over, triumphant, smiling and holding his whip handle, which is conveniently cut off in the art, lending it an unmistakable phallic appearance. 3. More disco fog than the closing rave at the White Party.
Anyway, poor Jason Todd. He just can’t catch a break.
Booster Gold: Blackest Night #26: When all this Blackest Night silliness started, all I could think about was Booster and Ted Kord. Site member Allen got me into Booster Gold ages ago with tales of their superheroic bromance tragically cut short. So, I’ve been waiting for their reunion ever since this epic started, like 27 years ago. This issue brings everyone up to date on the story, as zombie Ted reminisces about the good times, and Booster reminisces about the bad. Well, all that reminiscing takes time, so the actual face-to-face meeting of the Blue and the Gold doesn’t happen until the last two pages of the issue. What a tease. So, we’re going to have to wait until next month for any meaningful interaction between the two. I, for one, am worried. I think Booster’s going to lose his heart again, literally. But at least they’ll be together!
Daredevil #502: I’m trying to recall if I’ve ever encountered any friendly, heroic ninjas in my travels. Maybe you guys can give me some examples. Is Snake Eyes a ninja? Maybe American Ninja from the movies? I bring this up, because there are a couple of ninja stories going on in comics right now. Coincidentally, both are being led by men in red tights. First, our man without fear, Daredevil, has taken over command of the Hand, and he’s trying to use their scary ninja assassin powers for good, not evil. I wonder if he’s ever tempted to defeat a bad guy then say, “Talk to the Hand!” Meanwhile, over in Red Robin, Tim has taken control of the League of Assassins and desperately wants to curtail their murderous ninja ways. It reminds me of that line in Wizard of Oz, where Sensei Glinda asks Dorothy-san, “Are you a good ninja? Or a bad ninja?” Is there really a choice?
Green Lantern Corps: Blackest Night #42: People have been stopping me on the street, asking what I thought of the shocking ending of Green Lantern Corps, where a Green Lantern sacrifices himself for the greater good, while his female partner looks on, helpless. I said, “You mean Sodam Yat? Yeah. That was awful.” What? No? Hm. If I were Guy and Tora, I’d submit a vacation request to HR right away and get the heck out of there.
Red Robin #6: In a bit of continuity weirdness, the events of this issue take place after Batman: Blackest Night, so I’m guessing things turned out okay with that whole zombie thing. As I mentioned above in the Daredevil spot, teaching ninjas not to kill isn’t as easy or fun as it sounds. Tim has a lot on his plate at the moment. He needs to keep looking for Bruce. He needs to bring down the League of Assassins. He needs to stop this whole icky Council of Spiders business. Plus, he needs to rekindle his romance with Conner before he loses him to Cassie. Here’s my prediction. Ra’s al Ghul is the leader of both the League of Assassins and the Council of Spiders. He’s using Tim to unwittingly pit them against each other to build the ultimate assassin team. Did I just blow your mind or what?
Why can’t all assassins be this hot?
Star Wars: Purge: I picked this up, because I thought it might be about Jedi eating disorders. Sadly, it’s all about Order 66, its aftermath and the death of Jedi Master Sha Koon. As you may know, I am not a fan of Order 66. It makes me very, very upset. To this day, I’ve only seen Revenge of the Sith five times, because I just can’t take the Order 66 scenes. It’s a very primal reaction. I become physically ill. That’s how much I love the Jedi and hate the Empire. This one-shot jumps around a bit in the timeline, between Anakin’s attack on the Jedi temple, and later, after he’s become Vader in body, as well as spirit. Surprisingly, it has a somewhat uplifting ending, as the doomed Jedi Master has a vision of Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher doing their thing in distant 1977. If I ever read this comic again, I’m just going to skip to the last two pages, like I skip to the sunset scene at the end of Revenge of the Sith. Happy, happy ending.
Titans #19: I didn’t know a lot about Roy Harper (aka Red Arrow), so this issue filled in some missing information for me. Let’s see. I learned he has a daughter. I learned that being a superhero parent is difficult, because of the unusual hours. I learned that international assassins who are trying to sneak up on their targets shouldn’t dress like this:
Where are Stacy and Clinton when you need them?
To be fair, she was wearing pants in the previous panel, but then they disappeared for a page. I don’t know what advice I have for Roy Harper. As long as his kid is well-behaved and doesn’t cause a scene at the table next to me at a restaurant or kick the back of my seat on an airplane, I guess I don’t care about her. I do, however, care about this guy, who’s in every comic I read this week:
A lover, not a fighter.
I don’t know who or what Tekken 6 is, but he might just be my favorite character in Titans.
The Unwritten #7: You know what’s so awesome about this book? It’s a mystery that actually manages to be mysterious. It keeps you wondering from issue to issue just what the hell is going on. Like Lost—but good. Tom Taylor is getting closer to learning the secret of his identity, or is he? His closest allies only want to use him, or do they? And, oh yeah, Frankenstein shows up. Why aren’t you reading this book?!
Well, I’m spent. That’s it for this week’s Load. Happy reading!
FBOTU’s Weekly Comics Load: Pink Is the New Black
By Chance
November 16, 2009 at 10:46AM EDT
Is November a sweeps month in the world of comics or what? Because stuff is happening! Big stuff. Crazy stuff. Pink stuff. It’s nuts! We have a lot to get through, so I shan’t tarry a moment longer. (I defy you to find “shan’t tarry” in any other comics review blog on the interwebs.) Members have been posting their thoughts on this week’s comics over in the Comics Forum. You can join them there, or feel free to post your comments here. Now, on with the Load!
The Amazing Spider-Man #611: I’ve had a headache for about 24 hours now, and I’m blaming this comic. That faint sound of slapping you hear is not your roommate pleasuring himself, but of Spider-Man’s writers patting themselves on the back for being oh-so-clever and oh-so-meta-comics-commentary-ironic. Let’s play word association. Bold type will be my therapist:
Stylistic Artwork?
Headache.
Deadpool’s puns and repartee?
Headache.
Spidey’s puns and repartee?
Headache.
Fifth-grade gay jokes?
Headache.
I know the banter possibilities of putting Spider-Man and Deadpool together are staggering, but it all felt extremely forced. A shout-out to Geoff Johns, former Avengers writer and current Blackest Night architect, genuinely made me laugh, until they ran the gag into the ground. I’ll sum up this issue for you, so you don’t have to read it: Spider-Man and Deadpool are both smart-asses who respect each other a lot, but not in a gay way. Done. Let’s move on.
Batgirl #4: I’ve been moaning about this title for four issues now. Why are they making Steph such a goofball? Can only an orphan be appropriately serious as a superhero? If so, can someone please kill her mom, so she can get on with it? Sorry, that was mean. I’m sure Steph will grow into the role. She’s got Barbara as her mentor, so I’m still holding out hope. Meanwhile, Barbara is still trying to get close to Wendy. You know, Wendy…of Marvin and Wendy. She accidentally walked through Titans and ended up paralyzed. Which brings me to the first of what will eventually be a long list:
The FBOTU Rules of Comics #1: Stay away from the Titans, unless you want to die.
I still think Wendy has supervillainess potential. Barbara is trying to convince her to accept her wheelchair destiny, and that’s fine. She can be a supervillainess in a wheelchair. Like Nessa Rose or Blanche Hudson.
Batman and Robin #6: Poor Jason Todd. He just can’t catch a…um…I’m sorry. I really can’t continue until we talk about the cover. It’s driving me to distraction:
No, it’s not a sequel to Purple Rain. That’s the Flamingo, the newest and pinkest villain in Gotham. It only takes 11 pages for Robin to say what everyone’s thinking: “I was expecting scary, not gay.” I’ve decided not to be offended by the remark, because Damian is something of a jerk, so it makes sense that he would say jerky things. Plus, I also had a somewhat stereotypical reaction to the Flamingo: “Girl, what are you wearing?” True, his outfit is no more garish than the Joker’s or the Riddler’s or any number of sartorially challenged fellows in Batman’s rogues gallery. Plus, hasn’t Jason been wearing what looks like a Hitachi Magic Wand attachment on his head for the past six issues? Whether the Flamingo is going to be gay or just from Florida, I don’t know. But let’s examine that super gay cover, shall we?
1. Check out Batman. On his back, head thrown back, legs spread, sporting a modest bulge, essentially straddling the bike.
2. Meanwhile, Flamingo hovers over, triumphant, smiling and holding his whip handle, which is conveniently cut off in the art, lending it an unmistakable phallic appearance.
3. More disco fog than the closing rave at the White Party.
Anyway, poor Jason Todd. He just can’t catch a break.
Booster Gold: Blackest Night #26: When all this Blackest Night silliness started, all I could think about was Booster and Ted Kord. Site member Allen got me into Booster Gold ages ago with tales of their superheroic bromance tragically cut short. So, I’ve been waiting for their reunion ever since this epic started, like 27 years ago. This issue brings everyone up to date on the story, as zombie Ted reminisces about the good times, and Booster reminisces about the bad. Well, all that reminiscing takes time, so the actual face-to-face meeting of the Blue and the Gold doesn’t happen until the last two pages of the issue. What a tease. So, we’re going to have to wait until next month for any meaningful interaction between the two. I, for one, am worried. I think Booster’s going to lose his heart again, literally. But at least they’ll be together!
Daredevil #502: I’m trying to recall if I’ve ever encountered any friendly, heroic ninjas in my travels. Maybe you guys can give me some examples. Is Snake Eyes a ninja? Maybe American Ninja from the movies? I bring this up, because there are a couple of ninja stories going on in comics right now. Coincidentally, both are being led by men in red tights. First, our man without fear, Daredevil, has taken over command of the Hand, and he’s trying to use their scary ninja assassin powers for good, not evil. I wonder if he’s ever tempted to defeat a bad guy then say, “Talk to the Hand!” Meanwhile, over in Red Robin, Tim has taken control of the League of Assassins and desperately wants to curtail their murderous ninja ways. It reminds me of that line in Wizard of Oz, where Sensei Glinda asks Dorothy-san, “Are you a good ninja? Or a bad ninja?” Is there really a choice?
Green Lantern Corps: Blackest Night #42: People have been stopping me on the street, asking what I thought of the shocking ending of Green Lantern Corps, where a Green Lantern sacrifices himself for the greater good, while his female partner looks on, helpless. I said, “You mean Sodam Yat? Yeah. That was awful.” What? No? Hm. If I were Guy and Tora, I’d submit a vacation request to HR right away and get the heck out of there.
Red Robin #6: In a bit of continuity weirdness, the events of this issue take place after Batman: Blackest Night, so I’m guessing things turned out okay with that whole zombie thing. As I mentioned above in the Daredevil spot, teaching ninjas not to kill isn’t as easy or fun as it sounds. Tim has a lot on his plate at the moment. He needs to keep looking for Bruce. He needs to bring down the League of Assassins. He needs to stop this whole icky Council of Spiders business. Plus, he needs to rekindle his romance with Conner before he loses him to Cassie. Here’s my prediction. Ra’s al Ghul is the leader of both the League of Assassins and the Council of Spiders. He’s using Tim to unwittingly pit them against each other to build the ultimate assassin team. Did I just blow your mind or what?
Star Wars: Purge: I picked this up, because I thought it might be about Jedi eating disorders. Sadly, it’s all about Order 66, its aftermath and the death of Jedi Master Sha Koon. As you may know, I am not a fan of Order 66. It makes me very, very upset. To this day, I’ve only seen Revenge of the Sith five times, because I just can’t take the Order 66 scenes. It’s a very primal reaction. I become physically ill. That’s how much I love the Jedi and hate the Empire. This one-shot jumps around a bit in the timeline, between Anakin’s attack on the Jedi temple, and later, after he’s become Vader in body, as well as spirit. Surprisingly, it has a somewhat uplifting ending, as the doomed Jedi Master has a vision of Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher doing their thing in distant 1977. If I ever read this comic again, I’m just going to skip to the last two pages, like I skip to the sunset scene at the end of Revenge of the Sith. Happy, happy ending.
Titans #19: I didn’t know a lot about Roy Harper (aka Red Arrow), so this issue filled in some missing information for me. Let’s see. I learned he has a daughter. I learned that being a superhero parent is difficult, because of the unusual hours. I learned that international assassins who are trying to sneak up on their targets shouldn’t dress like this:
To be fair, she was wearing pants in the previous panel, but then they disappeared for a page. I don’t know what advice I have for Roy Harper. As long as his kid is well-behaved and doesn’t cause a scene at the table next to me at a restaurant or kick the back of my seat on an airplane, I guess I don’t care about her. I do, however, care about this guy, who’s in every comic I read this week:
I don’t know who or what Tekken 6 is, but he might just be my favorite character in Titans.
The Unwritten #7: You know what’s so awesome about this book? It’s a mystery that actually manages to be mysterious. It keeps you wondering from issue to issue just what the hell is going on. Like Lost—but good. Tom Taylor is getting closer to learning the secret of his identity, or is he? His closest allies only want to use him, or do they? And, oh yeah, Frankenstein shows up. Why aren’t you reading this book?!
Well, I’m spent. That’s it for this week’s Load. Happy reading!
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