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FBOTU’s GeekTV: Who Needs a Soul?

By Chance

November 16, 2010 at 7:49PM EST

I was ridiculously slow getting around to watching all the shows from last week. (Don’t even ask about the Comics Load). The final production stretch for the 2011 Fanboy of the Month Calendar (Available Now!) took up most of my time last week. But thanks to iTunes, I finally caught up with my stories. Here’s the rundown:

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Vampires enjoy wearing monochromatic distressed tees and casual hoodies from Old Navy.

A couple of days ago I found myself trying to convince December FBOTM Sean that he should be watching The Vampire Diaries. Because I never know when to shut up, his eyes glazed over and he nodded politely as I went on and on about how impressed I’ve been with the surprising amount of depth in the show’s plot. Yes, it’s a teen vampire soap, but what started out as your typical forbidden love story has evolved into a complex and gripping yarn spanning generations. Or, as Elena herself tells Stefan at the end of last week’s episode, it’s not just a girl meets vampire story anymore; it’s so much more! (And it’s all her fault!) This episode gives us Katherine’s backstory, including how she became such a bitchy vamp. We find out that a baby girl is taken from her immediately after childbirth, so is it possible there’s another doppelganger running around? Or do the doppelgangers only show up every few generations? Why is doppelganger such a funny word? (Doppelganger!) Anyway, Elena and Katherine are going to have to work together to escape the clutches of Klaus, the mysterious ubervamp who’s been unsuccessfully stalking Katherine for hundreds of years. I hope he’s played by David Bowie.

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Pacey got laid! Yay!

Before I launch into my thoughts on Fringe, I’d just like to congratulate Jasika Nicole, who plays Astrid, for being listed in Out Magazine’s Out 100 list. Yay Jasika! Enjoy it while you can, because your character is doomed.

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Sorry, Astrid.

Astrid is smart, smart, smart, and she’s going to put things together much faster than the stupid boys, who love the new Olivia (aka Fauxlivia) because of all the smiling and the putting out. So, I predict that Realivia will convince Astrid of her authenticity, then Fauxlivia will kill Astrid. Everything is going according to Fauxlivia’s diabolical plan, so something’s got to mess it up. I really don’t see Peter getting strapped into a machine to destroy the alternate universe. I do, however, see some of the doppelgangers ending up on our side. (Doppelgangers!)

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Tess wrote the Smallville theme song!

On the FBOTU Facebook page, I proclaimed my disappointment that Ed Asner didn’t show up as Granny Goodness in this episode of Smallville. Christine Willes did a fine job, and I still adore her from her Dead Like Me days, but I really think Granny should be a little more manly. If not Ed, then John Lithgow would have been a good choice. Or maybe De Niro. Despite the appearance of Granny and her Furies, this episode is really about two things: 1.) Tess discovering her true identity and 2.) Tom Welling in bondage…again.

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Did William Moulton Marston write this episode?

Since Tom is the executive producer on the show, do you think the writers come to him and say, “Hey, we’d like to strip you down and tie you up for most of this episode. Cool?” Or do you think he goes to the writers and says, “There’s too much Tess in this episode; I’m taking my shirt off.” Either way, this ep continues the latest trend of naked or shirtless guys chained or tied to things, so yay! Aquaman returns next week, so here’s hoping he gets caught naked in a fishing net or something. 

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”’Cause I’m out in the club, and I’m sippin’ that bubb, and you’re not gonna reach my telephone!””

I like soulless Sam on Supernatural. I do. I like that he has amazing sex with prostitutes and feels no remorse about offing the occasional innocent bystander. I like that he’s cold and disconnected. I like that he frequently checks out Dean’s ass and thinks, “Why not? I know we’re brothers, but what do I care, I don’t have a soul..” Yes, he thinks that. You can tell. So, here’s hoping the boys don’t outsmart Crawley and get Sam’s soul back too soon. In this episode, they’re tracking down a pack of doggy shapeshifters who are plotting to rise up against their masters. This would have been far more believable if it had been about cats. It’s really not that much of a leap to imagine the felines of the world exacting revenge for all the LOLcats nonsense on the interwebs. (“I can has revenge!”) All the dogs in this episode were very good actors, but it still made me sad, because my own doggy died a few months ago, and I’m not entirely over it. I am not, and never was, a dog person. But a little 200-pound dog named Henry won me over. So, thanks Supernatural, for making me depressed. You owe me a Sam shower scene for that.

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Um…ever heard of ménage à trois? It’s French for “You’re the most!”

Is it a bad sign that with only three episodes of The Walking Dead left to go, I’ve kind of lost interest? I’ve been trying to articulate why I don’t care anymore, and here’s what I’ve come up with. I like Rick. And only Rick. I know it’s probably unrealistic to have a show about one guy against the zombies. It’s a little too Will Smith. But it was so much more fascinating seeing him struggle with the new world and interact with one or two humans here and there. I was hoping for a rich character study, but instead I got a standard assortment of stereotypes. Plus, it’s the end of the world as we know it, so why not have a threesome? Lori has the perfect opportunity to invite hunky Shane to join her and Rick in their love tent. I know Shane’s pissed off that Rick’s back from the dead, but I bet he’d be willing to give him a reach-around, just to keep things friendly. I haven’t read the comics, so I don’t know, maybe that happens in season two?

Thanks for reading! Be sure to let us know what you’ve been watching in the comments section! Now, go inside and watch some TV! The sun is bad for you.