Title: Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus Directed and Written by: Jack Perez Starring: Deborah Gibson, Vic Chao, Lorenzo Lamas, Sean Lawlor
When the trailer for this direct-to-DVD movie hit the ‘net, I knew I could never resist it. I’ve spent many an hour, both in my youth and adulthood, watching big rubbery monster movies, the more prehistoric the better. Add Deborah Gibson, the musical voice of my generation, to the mix, and wild horses (or giant octopi) couldn’t keep me away. Deborah plays a rebellious oceanographer (Is there any other kind?) who doesn’t want to play by the rules. I don’t blame her. When a big whale carcass washes up on the beach with a giant shark tooth sticking out of it, the powers that be tell her to leave it alone and blame it on a boating accident. Her boss warns her, “Don’t love the ocean too much. It doesn’t love you back.” But Deborah is from the Electric Youth generation, and she doesn’t take no for an answer, so she hooks up with her old college professor and a rogue Japanese scientist to try to get to the bottom of the string of deadly maritime attacks. Could it have anything to do with the mega shark and giant octopus she spied in the arctic recently?
The movie is fantastically bad on many levels, but I must admit it isn’t as bad as I expected (or secretly hoped). There are actually some gorgeous shots of the ocean and beach and arctic glaciers. And director Jack Perez (Wild Things 2, Hercules, Xena) does a lot with a little. Deborah is surprisingly natural as an actress, except when she’s asked to interact with something that’s not really there. The main victim in this venture is science. Even if cold-blooded creatures could survive in ice for some length of time, eventually the ice itself would do irreparable damage to the beasts’ skin tissue. That sort of logic, however, would mean we would have no Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus, so I can forgive that. But I couldn’t help chuckling through the “doing science montage,” where Deborah and friends try to figure out how to fight the mega menace by pouring different colored liquids into various beakers, then casting worried glances into microscopes. After doing a good bit of science, Deborah gets lost in the eyes of her Japanese coworker, and shakes his love in the utility closet. To be fair, the impromptu sex scene during a global crisis is actually critical to the plot, since it gives Deborah the idea to use pheromones to trap the monsters.
So where is 80s heartthrob Lorenzo Lamas in all this? He plays the traditional stubborn government official, who refuses to listen to the scientists and just wants to nuke everything. He seems to be controlling the military, yet doesn’t have a title or wear a uniform. The people I watched the movie with began to create a backstory for Lorenzo’s participation in this film. They guessed that he agreed to be in it, if he could just wear his own clothes and shoot all his scenes in one day. “No problem,” the director said, so that’s how we got Lorenzo. I would be more critical of his acting, but really, what face does one make when a giant shark bites through the Golden Gate Bridge? I might look slightly bored, too. Who can say?
My biggest complaint, though, is that while the film’s title promises us Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus, we get very few glimpses of the monsters in action or battle. They were probably thinking they were following Spielberg’s model by not showing too much of the creature(s), in order to heighten tension. But for a movie of this nature and ilk, I wasn’t looking for dramatic tension or Cloverfield-like high concept. I just wanted to see some shark and octopus throwdowns. Since the film’s notoriety pretty much guarantees a sequel, hopefully we’ll get to see more of the big bad fishies next time around. This is a fun movie, perfect for viewing with a group of friends and invites important discussion and debate. Like, why are the US subs all lit in neon colors and use joysticks for steering, while the Japanese subs seems to be comprised of nothing but panels of DOS computers and old ATMs? You’d think the Japanese would be more technologically advanced than that. I mean, haven’t they had years of practice with Godzilla?
On the FBOTU Scale of Fabulousness, Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus gets 3 out of 5 wincing emoticons:
DVD Review: Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus
By Chance
May 23, 2009 at 3:04AM EDT
Title: Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus
Directed and Written by: Jack Perez
Starring: Deborah Gibson, Vic Chao, Lorenzo Lamas, Sean Lawlor
When the trailer for this direct-to-DVD movie hit the ‘net, I knew I could never resist it. I’ve spent many an hour, both in my youth and adulthood, watching big rubbery monster movies, the more prehistoric the better. Add Deborah Gibson, the musical voice of my generation, to the mix, and wild horses (or giant octopi) couldn’t keep me away. Deborah plays a rebellious oceanographer (Is there any other kind?) who doesn’t want to play by the rules. I don’t blame her. When a big whale carcass washes up on the beach with a giant shark tooth sticking out of it, the powers that be tell her to leave it alone and blame it on a boating accident. Her boss warns her, “Don’t love the ocean too much. It doesn’t love you back.” But Deborah is from the Electric Youth generation, and she doesn’t take no for an answer, so she hooks up with her old college professor and a rogue Japanese scientist to try to get to the bottom of the string of deadly maritime attacks. Could it have anything to do with the mega shark and giant octopus she spied in the arctic recently?
(More prehistoric mayhem after the jump!)
The movie is fantastically bad on many levels, but I must admit it isn’t as bad as I expected (or secretly hoped). There are actually some gorgeous shots of the ocean and beach and arctic glaciers. And director Jack Perez (Wild Things 2, Hercules, Xena) does a lot with a little. Deborah is surprisingly natural as an actress, except when she’s asked to interact with something that’s not really there. The main victim in this venture is science. Even if cold-blooded creatures could survive in ice for some length of time, eventually the ice itself would do irreparable damage to the beasts’ skin tissue. That sort of logic, however, would mean we would have no Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus, so I can forgive that. But I couldn’t help chuckling through the “doing science montage,” where Deborah and friends try to figure out how to fight the mega menace by pouring different colored liquids into various beakers, then casting worried glances into microscopes. After doing a good bit of science, Deborah gets lost in the eyes of her Japanese coworker, and shakes his love in the utility closet. To be fair, the impromptu sex scene during a global crisis is actually critical to the plot, since it gives Deborah the idea to use pheromones to trap the monsters.
So where is 80s heartthrob Lorenzo Lamas in all this? He plays the traditional stubborn government official, who refuses to listen to the scientists and just wants to nuke everything. He seems to be controlling the military, yet doesn’t have a title or wear a uniform. The people I watched the movie with began to create a backstory for Lorenzo’s participation in this film. They guessed that he agreed to be in it, if he could just wear his own clothes and shoot all his scenes in one day. “No problem,” the director said, so that’s how we got Lorenzo. I would be more critical of his acting, but really, what face does one make when a giant shark bites through the Golden Gate Bridge? I might look slightly bored, too. Who can say?
My biggest complaint, though, is that while the film’s title promises us Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus, we get very few glimpses of the monsters in action or battle. They were probably thinking they were following Spielberg’s model by not showing too much of the creature(s), in order to heighten tension. But for a movie of this nature and ilk, I wasn’t looking for dramatic tension or Cloverfield-like high concept. I just wanted to see some shark and octopus throwdowns. Since the film’s notoriety pretty much guarantees a sequel, hopefully we’ll get to see more of the big bad fishies next time around. This is a fun movie, perfect for viewing with a group of friends and invites important discussion and debate. Like, why are the US subs all lit in neon colors and use joysticks for steering, while the Japanese subs seems to be comprised of nothing but panels of DOS computers and old ATMs? You’d think the Japanese would be more technologically advanced than that. I mean, haven’t they had years of practice with Godzilla?
On the FBOTU Scale of Fabulousness, Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus gets 3 out of 5 wincing emoticons:
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