Thursday, September 02, 2010

Veronica #202: A Very Special (Non)Issue

Title: Veronica #202
Reviewed by: Adam

I’ll start this review by being perfectly honest: I’ve never read a single issue of anything in the Archie Comics universe. I certainly knew of the characters, but the extent of my knowledge was gleaned from that scene in Chasing Amy, where Holden, Banky and Hooper sit around a bar and argue whether or not “Archie was the bitch and Jughead was the butch.” Still, when I read several months ago that a gay character was being introduced into the wholesome world of the Riverdale gang in an upcoming issue, my interest was piqued. What I hadn’t considered when I agreed to review said issue was that I had to enter a comic book store, stroll up to an actual Comic Book Store Employee and slap issue #202 of Veronica down on the counter.

Every time I enter a comic shop, I sense the employees eyeing my purchases, determining whether I am worthy. Don’t even try to tell me they’re not. And yes, I acknowledge it’s possible I’m simply frequenting the wrong comic book stores. Or that I’m insane. Regardless, it was with much trepidation that I approached the register. I felt a nervousness that was not dissimilar to the first time I bought porn. I even called upon the old “camouflage” technique in an attempt to save face, sandwiching my intended purchase between several butchier titles: Avengers: The Children’s Crusade, Secret Six and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (hey, that’s what constitutes butchier in my mind, all right?). Though, when you’re talking about the kind of comic book that has a break in the middle of the issue for a “Veronica’s Smart Style!” fashion spread, pretty much anything is a step up the ladder of manliness.

Even once I got back to my apartment with the issue in hand, I was not safe from scorn. My roommate rolled her eyes when I proudly displayed my purchase. “Have we gone back in time? Is this the 50s?” Then, when I idly asked my boyfriend how long Archie Comics have been around, exactly: “I’m pretty sure dinosaurs sat around in their free time, reading the latest Archie Comics.” Clearly I need a better support system in my life.

But on to the issue itself: I have to say, if you held a gun to my head and asked me to predict what an issue of Veronica would be like, this is just about exactly what I would have guessed: bright, colorful and mildly amusing. It was very...pleasant. The story concerns the arrival of new student at Riverdale High, Kevin Keller. While Kevin and Jughead bond over their shared fondness for shoveling obscene amounts of meat into their mouths (otherwise known as a hamburger-eating contest; and yes, the gay guy wins), Veronica is instantly smitten with the attractive young man. She decides that she will stop at nothing until she gets a date with the “hot tamale.” Kevin informs Jughead early on that he likes dudes (prompting a nice, positive non-reaction from Jughead), but Jughead, feeling bitter about Veronica insulting his burger-eating abilities, creates excuses for Kevin to delay breaking the news to his would-be suitor (suitress?), just so he can enjoy Veronica making a fool of herself by continuing to throw herself at a gay guy. And yeah, that’s pretty much it as far as plot goes.

Archie Comics are an unusual beast. I assume that a lot of their appeal lies in their nondescript, vaguely retro feel, so it’s a little odd that the universe is somewhat haphazardly updated to fit with the current times. There’s an odd disconnect when the characters do things like spend their time hanging out in a soda shop, but Jughead can insult Kevin by calling him a “noob.” Still, it’s nice that in addition to updating the lingo, current writer/artist Dan Parent is also bringing Riverdale into the 21st century by increasing its diversity. And I appreciate the fact that Kevin doesn’t stick out from the rest of the gang; he’s just another one of the guys. He just also happens to be gay.

I will say that it’s a testament to the writing, in a way, that this issue didn’t feel like it was trying to be a milestone, though in its own little way, it is. The storyline plays out just as I imagine any of the other wacky shenanigans the Riverdale kids get themselves up to, and I think that, in itself, is something its creators can be proud of.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

FBOTU’s Weekly Comics Load: Love! Valour! Compassion!

A full serving of your recommended daily geekiness! Now in fruit flavors!

Monday, August 23, 2010

FBOTU’s Weekly Comics Load: From Cross Dressing to Iron Fisting

Click it! It’s free!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

FBOTU’s Weekly Comics Load: Snikt!

Now with 30% MORE Brian Andersen!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Comics Load Extra: Love, Larfleeze

If you thought yesterday’s Comics Load was missing something, you weren’t alone. Site member Jekolman pointed out a glaring omission in my reading list: Green Lantern #56. Well, of course I read it; I just forgot to mention it. I’m no Green Lantern expert, so I really have no idea who or what Hector Hammond is. In fact, when someone at Comic-Con told me I looked like Hector Hammond, I just smiled and said, “Thank you.” I realize now it was a reference to my abnormally large head. Well, thank you very much, Brian Andersen.

Green Lantern #56 starts with good, old Hector, who apparently didn’t put the lotion on its skin, since it’s getting the hose again. I haven’t a clue why they’re hosing him down, or why Orko is floating around what I guess is the prison casino, mind-melding with Hector, but all of this, and the mice with the giant brains, is just a prelude to the real star of the show. You guessed it: Larfleeze is back! He’s apparently settled in a national park in Minnesota, where he’s collected and constructed quite a mountain of loot. He’s been watching commercials, after all. The local sheriff asks Hal to investigate (and maybe find his patrol car and his wife’s pink flamingo, while he’s at it).

At Comic-Con, Geoff Johns promised a Christmas special featuring Larfleeze, and you can tell he’s laying the groundwork for that in this issue. Hal finds Lar, surrounded by trees adorned with Christmas lights, writing a letter to Santa, which requires a lot of concentration, since he’s asking for, well, everything. Because Hal is a total bitch, he spills the beans about Santa, but Lar doesn’t care. He intends to get what the fat man owes him. Sitting atop his very own Mount Crumpit, it’s not hard to imagine Larfleeze as the Grinch, and I’m really looking forward to his Christmas adventure. It’s a shame it’s not being animated and shown on CBS with Charlie Brown and those mice with the giant brains who break the Christmas clock.

This book is actually not about how Larfleeze stole and/or saved Christmas. This book is about Hal needing to know how to trap an entity. Larfleeze did it, so how hard could it be? My god, that Hal is a bitch. Anyway, before Hal can bully the information out of Lar, Hector shows up on an entity mission of his own.

Larfleeze is arguably the greatest literary creation since Jean Valjean. I’d like to caution Mr. Johns and the other DC writers to show some restraint, though. While he’s great comic relief, I don’t think any of us wants to see him become the wacky neighbor in a sitcom. Though I wouldn’t mind seeing him on Glee, you know, killing them all. As long as Johns and the other writers stay true to his character and use him wisely, I’m thrilled to see him taking the lead. Once he fixes things in Green Lantern, maybe we’ll see him show up in other DC titles. Maybe we’ll find out he’s got Wonder Woman‘s real costume buried somewhere in his pile of junk.

By the way, if you look closely, you’ll see the sheriff’s missing flamingo. Actually, it’s not hard to miss. Glomulus is having his way with it. Can’t wait for Christmas!

Monday, August 09, 2010

FBOTU’s Weekly Comics Load: The Ballad of Jason Todd

Click and ye shall receive.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

FBOTU’s Weekly Comics Load: Quickies

Click it! Max Lord compels you!

Monday, July 12, 2010

FBOTU’s Weekly Comics Load: Cousin Oliver Has a Crowbar

Just click it.