“If you’re sitting up there in your silly little space ships with all your silly little guns, and you’ve got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight, just remember who’s standing in your way! Remember every black day I ever stopped you, and then, and then, do the smart thing. Let somebody else try first!”
-Doctor Who, “The Pandorica Opens”
I am not a Barbie collector. I do like 12” figures of various properties, but I’ve never dabbled in the fashion doll genre. I did buy a Glitter ‘n Gold Jem off Ebay a few years ago, but that was mainly to get the cassette tape. I had a 12” Princess Leia growing up, and I always felt bad that she had these gigantic feet and flat, sensible shoes. I wondered if her escape from the Death Star would have been a little more glamorous in heels. But I digress. Sometimes a Barbie comes along that’s silly, or weird or particularly gorgeous and I grow ever more tempted to join the pink parade. Just look at this Vera Wang Barbie from FAO Schwarz.
Usually, I make fun of how expensive this stuff is, but $205 seems pretty reasonable for a Barbie in a Vera Wang gown. Barbie inhabits a fantasy world, and no one does it better. It was just never my fantasy world. I had much more in common with a blonde farm boy on Tattooine than a blonde socialite in a Malibu dreamhouse. The description on FAO says, “Doll cannot stand alone.” So, we have that in common. Especially after a couple of cosmos. Which are pink! So there you go. Maybe I’m a Barbie girl after all!
Because I’m a self-proclaimed marketing genius, I thought it would be a great idea to feature the Fanboys of the Universet-shirts in the Fanboy of the Month photo shoots. And because I’m a self-proclaimed marketing genius, I thought it would be a great idea to shoot a white t-shirt against a white background. Luckily, September FBOTM LaGuan is hot enough to make up for my art direction gaffe. Check him out in the FBOTMGallery. And don’t worry, in next week’s photos we don’t have to worry about t-shirts anymore. Stay tuned!
If you’ve been wondering what that song is that’s been playing on the FBOTU MySpace page, check this out. It’s “One Season More” from Star Wars: The Musical, written by Timothy Edward Smith in Fort Worth, Texas. This has apparently been floating around for a few years, but since this is the first I’ve heard of it, I’m reporting it like it’s breaking news! Completely fan-produced and not sponsored, approved or endorsed by Lucas in any way, it serves as a great testament to the imagination that Star Wars has inspired for the past 30 years. You can learn more about the musical, plus download free MP3 files of the songs at the official web site.
Don’t you wish your warrior was hot like me? I almost gave up around Level 20, but I stuck it out. Warriors don’t give up. So now I’ve made it to Level 40 and finally have a little power and money to throw around. So I finally bought myself the furry underpants I’ve been wanting since Level 1. But more importantly, I’ve created a Fanboys of the Universe Guild on the Proudmoore server. We have a tabard and a bank full of weapons and armor and goodies for FBOTU Guild members. If you sign up, or if you’re an existing WoW member, and you’d like to join the Guild, let me know! We currently only have an Alliance presence, but I’m working on that. Horde members just hold tight for a little while longer. Happy questing!
Ever wonder how He-Man stays in such great shape? Well, those abs and that ass don’t just come by the power of Grayskull. Oh no, He-Man has to eat right and exercise. I was at the state fair today and happened to see this sign advertising He-Man’s very own recipe for healthy living.
Mmm mmmm! I ordered three. Later at the hospital, after my open-heart surgery, I could feel the power of Grayskull coursing through my veins. Oh wait, that was the IV.
Quote of the Week: One Fanboy’s Trash…Is Still Trash
Have you guys been reading the posts in the daily blog comments section? (We need a clever name for said daily blog, by the way.) Our members are offering up some really funny commentary lately. Razz-Bel‘s Jar Jar impersonation came in a close second this week, but I have to hand the Quote of the Week prize* to Johnny M‘s snarky response to my criticism of Mattel’s questionable packing ratios. Take it away, Johnny M:
I’d also like to take this opportunity to thank Johnny M for filling in for me on the daily blogs while I was first partying, then running for my life in New Orleans last week. So did I let Johnny M win just because I forgot to thank him last week? A committee will be formed to investigate the Quote of the Week selection process, I promise. Now, on to the runners up!
“He (Daniel Radcliffe) said he’d turn it down flat if offered as he’s not a Doctor Who fan, so I’m sure he won’t be a companion, even if offered the role of a tranny companion, which let’s face it in this era of Doctor Who wouldn’t be too out of the realm of possibility.”
-Havoc, getting recognition here for coining the phrase “tranny companion.” Be sure to use it every day!
“And hot nipple rings! Don’t forget the hot nipple rings!”
-GayComicGeek, passing the FBOTM torch to Mr. September.
“Don’t date anyone with a double identity or a god inhabiting them.”
-Atragon, offering sound superhero dating advice. I have no doubt he speaks from experience.
“I’m so happy I just wanna.....get a milkshake.”
-Sailor Peachy, perfectly describing the euphoria of getting that toy you’ve been pining for.
“Mesa gonna blow some goo all over yous! Owee-Owee!”
-Razz-Bel, bringing sex with Jar Jar vividly to life. Damn you, Razz-Bel! Damn you to heck!
*No actual prizes are sourced or rewarded to the grand prize winner.
Let’s say we’ve had dinner, caught a movie and now the evening finds us back at my place. I open a bottle of wine, we make out a little, then we head to the bedroom. I turn the lights on low, and you get your first glimpse of my fabulous and sexy new bedding:
If you’re just some normal guy, you’d probably step back slowly, then run out of the house as fast as you can. But if you’re a fanboy, your clothes are coming off, and it’s going to be one freaky night of dueling lightsabers! You can get your very own Star Wars sheets, blankets, duvet covers, shams and pillows at Pottery Barn. Yes, Pottery Barn. I just ordered mine, so my nights in a galaxy far, far away will not be far away for long. Now, where were we? How about a little music? Barry White or John Williams?
